No, Ben Gibbard didn't bring out his awesome punk band. (Although that would be fantastic as well, I am sure.)
Instead, he brought two guitars (an Epiphone and Gibson to be exact) and put pickups in the piano from the coffee shop upstairs in the Haw River Ballroom and sold out one of the most beautiful venues in the SouthEast.
Where did I get to sit? THE FRONT FREAKING ROW.
I mean, really, the only way I could have been closer would have been to be up on stage with him.
It's weird.
There are some musicians that I want so desperately to rock out with on stage, get inside the show, and help them rule a venue for a night. Like a little army of musical goodness.
As an aside, I am lucky. I've pretty much had the chance to play music - even if it's just a few minutes - with everyone I have ever dreamed I would make music with. (That's still living on this plane of existence that is.) Except maybe Loretta Lynn... but Jack White is close enough. :)
AND THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME. But anyways.
Back to what I was talking about...
There are some musicians I would never want to rock out with on stage.
(I know... SAY WHAT?!)
Ben Gibbard is one of those guys.
I have ADORED his songwriting since I first heard "Such Great Heights" on a mix CD that a boy in high school gave me as a present (I know... mix CD's! Almost as old school as mix tapes!) back before iTunes made it easy to give the person you love a CD of rare and fantastic love songs. I heard that song and decided that I had heard the most perfect love song ever written. No really. I had no idea who it was, no idea what band it could be, and we didn't have "SoundHound" to help figure out a song.
And, at that time, it was too new to be found on the internet. BAM! Can you imagine that time ever existed?
It should be noted at this point I had not heard the entire Beatles catalog yet, nor ventured into the world of popular music very much, so this random love song on this mix CD was a huge deal.
Sitting down with my guitar in my college practice room (Yes, I should have been working on classical guitar studies, but instead) I found myself playing that song over and over again until I finally figured it out. Delighted, my favorite love song was now mine. It wasn't until months later that I figured out who wrote it.
Let's flash ahead, shall we?
I'm front row at The Haw River Ballroom... dork-face Billie was super prepared with her cup of coffee at the ready to sit and listen all night long. It's a little strange being on the other side for once.
Ben starts his set, and begins it with... what? Yup. "Such Great Heights".
He may have done that to save the crowd from shouting it over and over and over again until he played it and causing general distraction, but it caught me off guard.
There it was. The song I'd spend hours going over in a practice room, trying to figure out exactly how the songwriter would have played it... right in front of me. "Farmer chords" and all. Perfect.
I'm sure I looked like a complete fool with my head tilted and smiling the whole time, but it was exactly what I wanted. A cup of coffee, a guitar, and one of my favorite songwriters.
Sure, I love a big stage show. I fell in love with Aerosmith at a young age on the Nine Lives tour with all the pyrotechnics and stage flair and I love punk music with all it's crazyawesomefunness. (I'm tossing this "L" word around like it's nobody's business, huh? Meh. Not my problem. :) )
But... bring it back to it's most simple point and it reminds me of that moment when the elegant solution is finally found. When the puzzle in finally solved. That missing piece finally slips into place.
Simple chords, a box of wood with six strings, someone to play it, and one person.
Perfect.
Elegant, simple, and perfect.
I'd have it no other way.
I've put off seeing him in Death Cab for Cutie or one of his other fantastic incarnations, just because I remember that moment in my practice room with me and guitar. I wanted to see that, yes, my favorite songs started out the way that my songs do - just a person and an instrument. Nothing else. No fancy clothes, no beautiful boots, no million dollar sound system, so perfect make up...
...just a person and their instrument of destruction.
Yeah, I think that's how John ultimately won me over. Sitting on the couch, he'd call out to me the magic words,
"Hey, can I play something for you?"
It's as if someone just invited to me a priceless musical concert for two. At that moment, I'm the most luckiest girl in the entire universe.
I'd hear all my music that way if I could. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to minimalist music, or music taken down the the bare elements... power trios, duos, solo acts - there's something really special there. Maybe that's why I love teaching one on one. There's magic and power there. It's the foundation, and without a solid foundation the whole structure falls, no matter how fantastic it is.
So, adoration of my boyfriend and Ben Gibbard aside... what did I take away from the concert?
Happiness.
I have a guitar, I can play some chords, and I like to write.
Why did I ever stop doing that? Why did I ever put that to the side in pursuit of other things?
Not saying that those other things are not worth it, but part of me has been missing something.
The part that will always be satisfied with just a guitar, notebook, and pen.
Sure! My songs may go NOWHERE. No one might care, no one might ever come to one of my solo concerts, nor book one.
But I don't care. They have this wonderful outlet now where you can record yourself and put it out on the internet for all to see. All the shame and all the glory. No one may care, but years from now... I still will. And that's what makes me feel whole, strong, and able to face the whole world every day.
So, yeah, the punk band. Where does that fit?
I've been putting of the punk band for a number of reasons... Dillon's family moved away and we were unsure as to what was going on, Josh talked about changing jobs and was in the middle of a move to a new place, and John and I were wrapped up in The Rosewood Bluff and our own lives.
We met for the first time in months on Saturday, and... I must say... it's like that band has evolved light years. Maybe it's that old saying - set something free, and if it comes back, it was always yours and meant to be. So, there were three were, in Josh's new pad, drinking coffee like the old days and going through the set list for the upcoming shows. Josh is telling me how he discovered that the recording of our new cover was different from the tab online (BWAH?! Is this our bassist talking?!), and Dillon nailed the solo in... oh... ten minutes?
So, if you get the chance, stop on by one of our upcoming shows. The P-90's are really getting good.
Maybe it took a lung infection on my part (Yeah, try going through one of the biggest auditions of your life with no freaking voice, and having to cancel a bunch of important shows... it'll humble the "rock star" outta you real quick) and stepping away from the band, going through some crazy life changing, and general quarter-life crisises for a while for all of us to get our war game perfected and really appreciate the music we make.
I mean, really... we're all very lucky. We get the chance to do what we love and want to do. Not many people get to that point.
So, that's what I felt last night sitting in the front row. Very lucky and very thankful. Sometimes life gives you those wonderful, beautiful, perfect moments that you never dreamed would happen. When the light breaks through and the puzzle is solved. The equation makes sense. The Ah-ha Moment.
There was my favorite love song... played on a guitar by the gentleman that wrote it less than five feet away from me. Sure, he missed a chord, but it made it that much more real. I felt the most vulnerable I have ever felt sharing that moment with a sold out room of people, and that took a while to work out in my head... but... yes, this moment really happening. I never need to meet Ben, shake his hand, or tell him how much I admire his songwriting. I just needed that moment. Clock out and call it a sucessful day.
It reminded me of hearing John sit on the couch and play my favorite songs. Just sheer joy beyond explanation. All the years of hearing a sonic recording... all those collectors who try so hard and spend so much money to get the recordings to sound as real as possible...
...it's never as good as the real thing, I hate to break it to you. :) In all the heartbreak and awe of realization, nothing is as fantastic as seeing happen with your own eyes and ears. I've been rather blessed by this crazy universe.
I remember when my college buddy Heather Wible would look and me daily and ask... "What is your most beautiful thing of the day?".
What a lovely way to look at life.
Speaking of which, I have business to attend to known as bedtime.
Until we meet again!
Hugs,
~Billie.
